dhamultun
2012-04-10, 10:56 PM
An oldie but a goodie!
HOBBY POX
New disease affecting hobbyists.
The Journal of the AMA today announced that a new disease that seems to affect R/C Hobbyists, modelers and certain others has been defined for the first time. It has been given the tentative name of Hobby Pox.....
Warning: This disease is so contagious that it can be caught just by watching someone infected with it.
Symptoms include :
Insane desire to infect friends and anyone else in ear shot.
Seemingly childish desire to play with insanely expensive toy airplanes, boats and cars.
Perpetual silly grin on face. Particularly right after finishing an eight hour building binge and two bottles of super glue.
Victim is often heard to scream at frequent intervals:
"I got it, I got it, OH NO!!!" or "I'm Dead stick"
Pleas for urgent help to God and even bystanders are not uncommon.
Makes irrational statements like: "I never did like that plane anyway.", "It's only money.", "Did you see that thing hit the ground, Wow!", "I meant to do that.", and the very common statement "It was a radio glitch." (sometimes repeated over and over like a mantra. )
Victims tend to band together and form support clubs.
Are known to stand in the full sun on days when the temperature is over 90.
Get up early to cut grass.... but only at the field.
Have a compulsion to lie about the price of equipment either increasing or decreasing the price depending on who is listening.
==========================================
How to tell if your loved one is affected.
==========================================
Strange charges on your credit cards.
Often smells like castor oil, nitromethane or various paints and
glues.
Weed eater mysteriously found disassembled and the engine missing just about the time they started flying giant scale air planes.
Often found wondering glassy eyed in or near hobby shops.
Nocturnal visits with fellow sufferers.
Found at least once glued to the workbench frantically trying to reach the debonder.
Disappears into work shop for hours/days at a time often followed by mad dashes to a hobby shop at five minutes to closing.
Consumes more alcohol for fuel in a weekend then an alcoholic does on a six day drunk.
Comes home carrying a bewildering array of balsa sticks and brightly colored covering. Sometimes they are returning from a hobby store and sometimes from the flying field.
No matter how hard you clean, the house is still covered with a fine brownish white dust sometimes to a depth of several inches near the work shop.
Nervous chewing of glue from finger tips.
Often have stiff necks from looking at sky.
Inordinate concern about the weather particularly wind and rain.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How to tell if you have it.....
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Answers of yes to more then five of the questions below are a strong indication of infection.
ANSWER YES OR NO
I need another radio. Add one yes answer for every radio you own over three.
(Two channel and AM radios count as 1/2 yes, PCM as two. )
I have more then one large box of balsa scrap.
I save balsa sanding dust just in case.
I save pieces of monokote that are as small as an inch square.
I keep broken props.
Two hundred dollars extra for a four cycle engine is worth it because it sounds better then a two cycle and has more torque whatever that is.
I have more then three functional flyable airplanes. (Add one yes for each additional airplane over four and one half yes for each plane that will be operational “any day now.”
I have parts to more then three airplanes that are not functional and never will be.
I need a more powerful engine.
(Count two yes responses if your present engine is stamped Harley Davidson on the side.)
I only fly quarter scale even though they are kind of small.
(Count as two yes responses if your only vehicle is a motor scooter.)
I have thought of buying a new vehicle so I could buy a larger airplane.
I recognize my spouse and children less then two out of three times.
Two yes responses if divorced because of your illness.
Three if you just now noticed they left at the beginning of last flying season.
I have snow skids for my airplane.
(Two yes responses if your airplanes are fitted with wing deicing
equipment.)
I wish twin rotor Helicopters were more of a challenge.
I think the AMA is being wimpy about "Real" jet engine rules and restrictions.
Fifty pounds is not that heavy for an airplane what’s the big deal?
I can guess the RPM of an engine within two RPM.
I have a still in my basement, but only to make my own fuel.
I have built a wing too large to get out of the work shop.
I never notice the model holding the model in airplane advertisements
My war bird scale models cause vets to have flash backs.
I have deliberately crashed an airplane so I would have an excuse to buy/build another one.
I bought a VCR just to watch model videos.
I have flown at night, by accident (unable to quit) or on purpose.
Wife has accused you of talking in your sleep about Mona's new coat and cleavage.
HOBBY POX
New disease affecting hobbyists.
The Journal of the AMA today announced that a new disease that seems to affect R/C Hobbyists, modelers and certain others has been defined for the first time. It has been given the tentative name of Hobby Pox.....
Warning: This disease is so contagious that it can be caught just by watching someone infected with it.
Symptoms include :
Insane desire to infect friends and anyone else in ear shot.
Seemingly childish desire to play with insanely expensive toy airplanes, boats and cars.
Perpetual silly grin on face. Particularly right after finishing an eight hour building binge and two bottles of super glue.
Victim is often heard to scream at frequent intervals:
"I got it, I got it, OH NO!!!" or "I'm Dead stick"
Pleas for urgent help to God and even bystanders are not uncommon.
Makes irrational statements like: "I never did like that plane anyway.", "It's only money.", "Did you see that thing hit the ground, Wow!", "I meant to do that.", and the very common statement "It was a radio glitch." (sometimes repeated over and over like a mantra. )
Victims tend to band together and form support clubs.
Are known to stand in the full sun on days when the temperature is over 90.
Get up early to cut grass.... but only at the field.
Have a compulsion to lie about the price of equipment either increasing or decreasing the price depending on who is listening.
==========================================
How to tell if your loved one is affected.
==========================================
Strange charges on your credit cards.
Often smells like castor oil, nitromethane or various paints and
glues.
Weed eater mysteriously found disassembled and the engine missing just about the time they started flying giant scale air planes.
Often found wondering glassy eyed in or near hobby shops.
Nocturnal visits with fellow sufferers.
Found at least once glued to the workbench frantically trying to reach the debonder.
Disappears into work shop for hours/days at a time often followed by mad dashes to a hobby shop at five minutes to closing.
Consumes more alcohol for fuel in a weekend then an alcoholic does on a six day drunk.
Comes home carrying a bewildering array of balsa sticks and brightly colored covering. Sometimes they are returning from a hobby store and sometimes from the flying field.
No matter how hard you clean, the house is still covered with a fine brownish white dust sometimes to a depth of several inches near the work shop.
Nervous chewing of glue from finger tips.
Often have stiff necks from looking at sky.
Inordinate concern about the weather particularly wind and rain.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How to tell if you have it.....
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Answers of yes to more then five of the questions below are a strong indication of infection.
ANSWER YES OR NO
I need another radio. Add one yes answer for every radio you own over three.
(Two channel and AM radios count as 1/2 yes, PCM as two. )
I have more then one large box of balsa scrap.
I save balsa sanding dust just in case.
I save pieces of monokote that are as small as an inch square.
I keep broken props.
Two hundred dollars extra for a four cycle engine is worth it because it sounds better then a two cycle and has more torque whatever that is.
I have more then three functional flyable airplanes. (Add one yes for each additional airplane over four and one half yes for each plane that will be operational “any day now.”
I have parts to more then three airplanes that are not functional and never will be.
I need a more powerful engine.
(Count two yes responses if your present engine is stamped Harley Davidson on the side.)
I only fly quarter scale even though they are kind of small.
(Count as two yes responses if your only vehicle is a motor scooter.)
I have thought of buying a new vehicle so I could buy a larger airplane.
I recognize my spouse and children less then two out of three times.
Two yes responses if divorced because of your illness.
Three if you just now noticed they left at the beginning of last flying season.
I have snow skids for my airplane.
(Two yes responses if your airplanes are fitted with wing deicing
equipment.)
I wish twin rotor Helicopters were more of a challenge.
I think the AMA is being wimpy about "Real" jet engine rules and restrictions.
Fifty pounds is not that heavy for an airplane what’s the big deal?
I can guess the RPM of an engine within two RPM.
I have a still in my basement, but only to make my own fuel.
I have built a wing too large to get out of the work shop.
I never notice the model holding the model in airplane advertisements
My war bird scale models cause vets to have flash backs.
I have deliberately crashed an airplane so I would have an excuse to buy/build another one.
I bought a VCR just to watch model videos.
I have flown at night, by accident (unable to quit) or on purpose.
Wife has accused you of talking in your sleep about Mona's new coat and cleavage.